We were staying in a house with my aunt and uncle/cousin things and their babies. Each night, either my parents or my aunt and uncle/cousin things would go out, leaving their kids in the care of whichever parents stayed home. For the most part, we'd go to Blockbuster and rent some movies, and eat pizza or something.
One night, when my parents went out, Uncle John took my brother and I to Blockbuster to rent some movies. Danny picked out some Transformers movie, and I went for an X-Men one.
Unfortunately, as I reached for the movie, so did this other punkassbitch my age. He started complaining to his mom about wanting the movie (probably making a scene), but his mom figured she'd let me win this battle and let me have the movie. She told the punkassbitch that he could have a DIFFERENT X-Men movie, one that neither of us wanted. He refused, claiming that the one I had was the only one that he wanted and walked away.
My uncle, who had witnessed the event, took me aside with both of the X-Men movies and taught me one of the funniest things that any adult has ever tried to teach me: dishonesty.
He said, "Now here's what you do. You take this movie," taking the movie that neither of us wanted and putting it in the box for the movie that we both wanted, "and put in in here, and then we make everyone happy."
We searched the store for the punkassbitch that wanted my movie, and we found him in the checkout line. I tapped him on the shoulder, and said (just like my Uncle had told me to), "Here, you can have this one, I don't need it." And the kid took it, and his mother was very grateful.
Then comes the worst part: this older woman, who obviously was aware of the whole situation between me and the punkassbitch, gasped and said, "That was so nice! I'm going to give you a dollar for popcorn!" She took out her purse and almost gave the dollar to me, but my Uncle stopped her and said that the deed itself was enough.
I'm pretty sure that someday some guy is going to hunt me down and before he kills me, he's going to say that I switched his X-Men tape for a different one. Maybe I should carry a gun or something.