Mike and the Thornbush, First Grade
Mike and the Thornbush, First Grade
2004-07-16
One time I was in 1st grade and I was just learning how to ride a bike. On nice sunny days towards the end of the school year my mom came to pick my brother and I up from school on foot.

One day she brought my bike so I could ride it home. It was a little ninja turtle bike. Fucking hot.

I put on my montstrously big helmet and rode with Mom across the street from the school and to Dale's to get an ice cream.

Riding up Humphrey Street towards home, we passed by a row of rosebushes.

WITH THORNS.

Because I was a fucking genius of a first grader, I rode my ninja turtle bike straight into one of the bushes, pricking my thumb with a huge thorn.

I screamed all the way home, and screamed even louder when my mom pulled it out. Yeah...not too proud of that moment.

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