Mary Ellen cornered me in the bedroom and said I needed to change into my bathing suit. She had me on my back, and her legs on the elastic ankles of my blue-crooked-checkered trousers.

I said, "Don't even think about it," because I'd heard it on TV.

She tilted her head to the side replied, "Oh, I'm thinking about it" and proceeded to make me change into my bathing suit.

Tough-love relatives are the best.

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